Man. Woman. The Battle.

The post is a bit......too long. Sorry for that.

I am a man and I'm proud about it. But that doesn't mean in any case that women are secondary individuals. I believe that women too should think similarly. Even when we talk a lot about men and women, considering them as just individuals, we never try to understand the element of sexuality involved. If we could have understood that, the "battle of sexes" usage would have been a meaningless phrase. In modern times, I think, there are some things which can be viewed differently. I'm just thinking a bit and trying to jot them down. Serious? I don't know. These are just my view points. Some random thoughts. You can term me a male chauvinist or feminist or whatever at the end. Just personal opinions. I'll put them across in first person.

I have no sisters. So, I have no idea what a girl would think about who is within a range of at least a plus or minus two years of the age of mine. And I think there is advantage for guys who have sisters and they know women more a bit, compared to men without sisters. I'm talking about the growing up part, both physically and mentally and not in general. I believe even parents' attitudes will be different. And this is applicable to girls too.

We make our children grow in an environment where we typecast him or her. A boy or a man is always associated with a "know&handle-it-all" league. This has gone to epic proportions where people tend to agree with a person whose name may be written as Clinton or Ms. Clinton, instead of saying Hillary or even Hillary Clinton. Check some research papers to see what I'm talking about. There were female scientists and mathematicians, who have had male professional names to get attention in the past, which I believe is  a thing of distant past. And, even when she is an achiever beyond normal benchmarks, a woman has to get the help from a man. I read somewhere about a "Cinderella syndrome", where even a woman think by herself that there is a prince charming on the way and she has to find a man to fulfill her life. Is it because of a woman's maternal instincts, where she want to become a mother at some point of time in her youth? Or, is it because of a notion that she sees around herself in the society? I don't know. I'm just asking. Even men are with insecurities and self-doubts and they too are emotional beings. But he is forced to move out of them forcefully while he grows up. 

There was a news about a young man who killed his wife of just six days. The reports said different things. One says that he was insecure about himself because of his salary being only half or one-third or one-sixth of his wife's salary. And another report says that she humiliated him using these mentioned facts. I don't know which version is true. But if first version is true, a man's insecurities is quite natural, but this incidence indicates that it can be dangerous. So we have to realize that if a woman put more effort or if she is more brilliant, she deserves to be better that others, including men, including her husband. But, it's quite natural, right? Still, I agree with the fact that there "are" men who want a wife who earns less him or not working and even women who wants to earn less than her husband, to not affect his ego, which I have seen in my friends and even I have thought a lot about it.  But in this case, unfortunately she lost her life because of his insecurities. 

If second version is true, I should say that she was initially a victim of the patriarchal mindset where she too believed that men should be better than women and it had hurt her that her husband is not worthy enough, which she vent through humiliating him. And it hurt his ego, which I will discuss later, that made him hurt her physically and at last ended in strangulating her. So she is a dead victim of her mindset which may have triggered the dark side of his. And likewise, isn't he a living victim? I mean, of his own beliefs and the system in which he grew up, which now has ended his life and which he may not get back even if he's out of the prison? So living with such guilt may be the worst punishment he could get. Here again, questions remain, is it only the individual to blame? Or the system, involving his parents, her parents and the society in general?

Now coming to ego. A person's ego is not natural, I think. That grows when you achieve something and keep on achieving. It's not bad. Not at all. But, most of the times, men have a privilege of having pampered his ego when he grows up. And I've found that most of the case, it's his own parents, especially mothers. But, now I have seen the same happening to girls also as parents, unlike in the past, knows that she to should be brought up as an individual and not a marriage material. I have uncomfortably stood in instances where girls' ego too getting inflated and I always think, how will it be in future when a man and woman with such inflated egos come together in the same marriage or even in a simple project with team-work involved. I remember a cousin sharing a story about an instance where, the husband and wife fought over the fact that they will share equally the responsibility or mom or dad will individually pay Rs. 60000, they had to pay in a pre-school for their son. So, is it worth it, when you have to use your ego for silly reasons? Aren't we using our egos more in useless situations, when it needs the most in resolving problems, by respecting other individual too? May be our egos won't allow us to think straight when we are in a situation where we are fighting to put down the other person, which can even result in killing the other person as we have seen above. I don't know.

Now, the most important thing that happens in a man-woman relationship. That's about motherhood. I really don't know how it is to be a mother. And also about being a father. But seeing some bios in social networks and in even some official introductions, motherhood is a part of  every woman's existence and her identity.  And not so in case of fatherhood. But, at the same time, it's a natural process. It's something for which we shouldn't consider her divine or something that is super-natural. It's a beautiful thing. But nature has prepared her body for that. But, she needs help and that doesn't mean she is weak there, which is the normal portrayals which I see around me, which again typecast people and create stereotypes in everyone's mind. But it's an irony that, there are women still dying while giving birth because there is serious ignorance about a woman's requirements during that time. Again, are we overdoing some things and under-handling some other things? I mean, I don't get this irony.

And a last thought. It's something I think many times. Why do many guys have a perception that women have to be conquered and all that? Movies are the main culprits here. Women too are human beings and individuals, who are of the same make, with same kind of flesh and blood. So, my whole point is this, even after a lot of discussions, movements etc., we still suffer a lot from the battle of the sexes. Husband and Wife. Mother and Father. Boyfriend and Girlfriend. We always typecast ourselves. How many problems could have been avoided if both parties could understand and discuss even silly things? How many constructive discussions could have even avoided umpteen number of divorces, which happen because of silly reasons or even no reason? May be many.

Thank you for reading till here. I know that it's a bit too long. But I just wrote as it was coming to my mind. And this is from a 25 year old person, who has not much of a knowledge about women and who is still single, in case you need to typecast. But, if I made you think a bit, that's all I wanted. Shoot your comments. :)