myownniche

The rustic charm still remains! The music is all over catchy again!!

"Youre no good, cant you see brother louie, louie, louie" has become an Earworm for me!!

A R Rahman is a school dropout. Sachin Tendulkar is also a school dropout. But, I’m not a school dropout. But they carry hell lot of expectations on their little shoulders and deliver with astounding success rate. I am not burdened with that scale of expectations even though my shoulders are bigger than them. And there’s a major difference between them and me. They are FAMOUS (I should not elaborate, right?). And for me, I think “anonymous” is the word that can be better put to use. So, my intention is not to compare myself (if you may have thought so!) with these greats. It’s about “Following one’s heart”. That fascinates me more than their fame.

So what’s this “following your heart” (FYH) stuff? I never followed my heart. Or I don’t feel that I followed my heart any time in my life until now. The main problem was with confidence, I suppose. I’m not sure whether my background had played a role in that too. But I think the main concern is all about the “fear of failure”. If I fail, what will I do? If I do everything correct too, there is a chance that I will fail big time. Hundreds would have had the talent ARR or Sachin had when they got that initial chance to prove themselves. But we don’t hear or care about the ones who didn’t make it.

So what’s the difference? They added and continues to add their own pages to the history when I’m just a small part of the history or to take a harsher look; a small cog in the wheel. But isn’t this also good? Or equally good? I studied for a very long part of my life. And after a small hiatus, I’m again studying. But I have never felt disappointed (may be some mild distractions!!) at any point of time, while studying as well working and now again studying, that I was at the wrong place. I enjoyed almost every aspect of both. But, the learning process still goes on. Life throws a lot of lessons, on face. Every instant. And those lessons are much interesting, which will keep you alive and kicking, in every sense.

The problems happen when I “compare” myself with someone. With my peers or colleagues. And this blocks every person’s uniqueness from growing, from childhood itself. When we set ourselves in the system, we tend to be part of that system and excel according to its rules and laws. But in a world of cut throat competition, in a world where I want or try to be “better than the best”, I always try to defeat others. I'll feel good. But I'll feel hollow. Actually I fail myself. But when I’m content with what I am, with my fair share of successes and failures, I feel good. Contended. And, if you give me sobriquets like “brilliant”, “average”, “below average” or “hopeless”, I shouldn't care. And I feel satisfied and not at all burdened by anything, even though I didn't follow my heart.

I'm not drunk!!

For a normal or even a sophisticated music lover, he was the "ultimate". He pushed himself and his followers to the maximum that people fell madly in love with him and his music and persona.

As an average human being, his abusive childhood, early fame and the insecurity was too much to handle for him. As an individual, he failed miserably. But why should I care?

In a sea of clones, he was a gem, a gem people would never unearth in any near and far future!!