myownniche

I never really thought about how I “sound” when I speak English until I started working. Even at office, when I started communicating with others, I never got a feedback that I sound like a “mallu”. Although,I didn’t have first hand experiences, I asked them what they meant when they commented this to another mallu. They told me that I don’t say “simbly” for simply. It was surprising. I started observing accents only after that. It became an interesting landscape.

The seriousness of this had struck me only after I saw a lot of people feeling low after being “marked out” for their accent. But, I had a senior at office who was also my senior at my under graduate. He was from Bihar. And he was proud about that. He knew a lot of things apart from the usual technological stuff that everyone knew. But whenever he speaks about something seriously, if others tend to feel intimidated by his depth of knowledge, the usual thing came in open through blunt remarks. When he speaks, “sh” sounded “ss”, he told Baazigar as Baajigar and lots. Even I had noted it, but I was interested only in what he was saying. And people except me were ready to pick it out. And there will always be a final comment from someone “Tum to Bihari ho” and all around him/her would laugh. But, he never lost cool. He fought hard. His arguments were based on how Bihar was improving and how Nitish Kumar proved himself to be the best administrator in India and only constructive stuff and how Media still frames Bihar in a poor light etc. But, to say it straight, others were so dumb and lame to understand and to say the least, to even think about it.

I realized, as time passed by, that these kinds of comments are made by people who just want to have fun. But it doesn’t end there. Without realizing much, at a more serious level, it was also a way to degrade the other person. Since we have been brought up to choose fair skin over dark, since matrimonial columns ask for only beautiful people, this too comes unconsciously. It comes so “unconsciously” that one don’t realize that he/she is hurting others. The sad thing is that I have seen a lot of people have had their self esteem being hit so badly that they live in their own shells. When one say, “you are accented because you are a tamilian, a mallu, a gulti”, the person doesn’t realize that he/she is indeed hurting or even accusing the other person in terms of an important part of his/her identity. The Mother tongue. He/she feels so bad about being born there. But “fun” doesn’t make you think beyond a point here and I don’t expect it to change at all.

Now, should one counter attack? Everyone speaks with an accent. The accents of people who even consider English as their mother tongue, makes me laugh. Actually ROTFLMAO. But I don’t feel like that. I think it’s better not to express. When tamilians tell me that I’m accented because I don’t say “simbly” but elongate the “o” in “college”, I reply with a smile. What should I say? Also, when people comment each other about their accents, I feel only sad and sympathy for them. The celebrated educated people are nothing worth a penny sometimes. When even Americans and British make fun of each other, I think it is so cheap.

I never made comments, I don’t make any comments, and I will never make any comments on one’s accent because if I too start doing the same, what’s the difference between me and the whole rest?

You may call me morose. You may call me hopeless. GTH. I don’t care.