Meditation Courses for Urban Lifestyle

People who live in urban areas are always on the run. There is no time for anything. And meditation is found to be one of the good practices that is really good for healthy mind. So I'm familiarising you about the special courses that are designed for the busy ones.

Basic course:

After a lot of R & D, we found that traffic jams in cities are the best places to follow our course. The reason. You get ample time as nowhere else in your urban life. So our course (already patented!) is designed around traffic jams. The course is basically developed by taking the roads in Bangalore as reference. For better results, try on Saturdays and Sundays.

The course starts at Brigade Road. Ok, you ask me why? When you enter Brigade road from MG Road, even though it's a one way, you really don't know whether you should move forward. There starts our first level. Switch off the engine (applicable to both cars and bikes!). Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Do it 10 times. And open the eyes. Aila! You see the vehicle in front starts moving. You follow. Go to second level, only if required. Otherwise, be ready for extreme consequences.

The second level starts after your first level, if the vehicle in front of you doesn't start moving. People will be honking behind you. So again take a deep breath and close the eyes and start chanting. "Give me a chance in future to honk at the person (can be replaced with your choice of words also!!) who is currently honking at me!". This will give you more satisfaction. You can let him/her overtake you and honk at hm/her too immediately also, which has a more satisfying and rewarding result. Go to third level, only if required. Otherwise, be ready for extreme consequences.

Now we are going to the third level. If your vehicle is still stationary, continue with the first and second levels. Now in the third level, we are facing a situation where some lovers spending quality time talking, cuddling etc. You think. Why can't they go home and do....sorry...filter applied...or atleast move to footpath. Now you look at footpath and see what even HD Devegowda has not seen in his election rally. So we start our third level. Here it is a customized chant. You can frame your own ones and do it on your own way. After that when you feel that you are a bit composed, find some expletives which you can throw at the boy and the girl. If it doesn't work, (This action is not included in the course! So don't point finger at me later!) keep your palms together and beg them to move a bit. Go to fourth level, only if required. Otherwise, be ready for extreme consequences.

The fourth level starts when a vehicle from your right is suddenly taking a left or from left suddenly taking right. You apply sudden brakes. If you didn't hear any sound (you are lucky!), we start the fourth level . Here there is nothing special to do. Do the first level activity once or twice. Take a deeper breath and only if you can't move, follow the first level completely. Don't forget. Deeper breaths. Go to fifth level, only if required. Otherwise, be ready for extreme consequences.


The fifth level is when you hear a sound or a *thud* in the fourth level scenario. Pray to get strength for an argument or a debate. Try to remember Burkha Dutt or Rajdeep Sardesai! Remember the expletives you have used when you played football at college. Or the ones you hurled at the year end question papers. Take a deeper breath. You have to stop the vehicle and get out and you can see the other guy/girl also coming out. Even if he/she pleads guilty, don't give up. Be stern. Continue for 2-3 mins. You hear honking from behind. Just don't care during the talking. And then suddenly get inside. You see that the other guy also doing the same. You feel extremely satisfied. If you had a chance to hear some sweet words from that guy, you'll feel more satisfied or rewarded.

Advanced course:

It's all same as the above mentioned ones in the basic course. But to do the advanced course, you have to go near a mall with less parking space and where there are weekend or festival offers like "Buy ,1 take any free", "One kilo underwear, Rs. 10" etc. Or to make it a bit more exciting, go out in rains in the normal roads.

The extremity of you experiences will give you a healthy mind. So try to find more extreme scenarios and follow our courses.

If you still feel frustrated after following after our course, it is because you follow it wrongly. So religiously follow and get the best results!!! Good Luck!!

PS. You feedback is keenly awaited at meditation@onthego.com